Last month we kicked off a new series for our monthly playlists where we invited interesting and influential women to guest curate some of their favorite and most impactful songs for us.
For our second collaboration, we’re introducing Stef of @stefosofsky. Stef is a writer, pleasure activist, and a sex + relationship coach, plus so much more!
Spring marks a time where we’re all craving adventure and ready to set off towards new beginnings. Recently, Stef has set off on an adventure of her own where she is exploring the states by living life on the road. With spring in mind, we asked Stef to create a playlist that encourages renewal and is refreshing, uplifting, and energizing.
“Now that the chill is slowly starting to thaw as the hands of time deliver us into Spring, this time of year fills me now with the energy of aliveness and a clean breeze in which to explore what hibernated in Winter, that will flower and fruit to make me new again with the Equinox.
So when the team at Rosebud reached out to collaborate on a playlist within the theme of Renewal, maybe it’s nostalgia for the road that made me jump at the opportunity to create something that could be jammed to with the windows down and new horizons ahead. This playlist might not obviously scream “renewal” at first glance, but the subject or story of the song doesn’t necessarily matter. Some songs give me a lyrical backdrop against which to contemplate myself. Others with lyrical vacancy give me spaciousness to reflect with the vibration of sound. Others remind me of an important time in my life, allowing me to study my old selves from my current one. All are a mirror. All of them say ‘Hey Stef, where are you in relation to what you’re hearing and feeling right now?’
Whoever you are on the other end of this screen, take this music and go on a nice, long drive. Fill your lungs with a deep breath, and scream yourself into the wind as it blasts your face through the windows into Spring.”
Queue this refreshing mix and read more about who Stef is and the journey she’s currently on.
Tell us, what does a “pleasure activist” entail:
The term “pleasure activist” can be credited to the brilliant and important adrienne maree brown (capitalization intentional for your editing, FYI). For me, it’s a commitment to advocating for the right to explore and animate whatever feels good to you – which doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with sexuality. Pleasure is a concept that’s unique to what lives as pleasure in each of us individually. Pleasure activism is a flag waved for my right to MY choices – whatever they are. It is alive in my right to consent and to feeling safe and well in regards to what’s happening and the choices being made within my encounter. It is alive in my unwavering SOPs for communication when relating to people. It is alive in choosing telling the truth and having a hard conversation, over avoiding saying what I really feel in fear of hurting someone. It is alive when I choose not to step on a scale and govern my feelings about my body by a number that only describes how I relate to gravity. It is alive when I smoke a joint in my car on a long drive – you feel me?
How long have you been a sex + relationship coach?
It’s been a niche I’ve occupied officially for a year now but sex, intimacy and relating are a theme I’ve felt comfortable teaching, writing, and advising on for a long time.
What motivated you to become a sex + relationship coach?
It was less of a something I sought to become and made a really active choice to be, to be honest. It’s been this really natural evolution of my voice and the things that feel important to me to advocate for as I’ve become more authentically myself in adulthood and less afraid of saying things that people aren’t always comfortable (read – still pretty offing terrified) to talk about.
What would your number 1 tip be for couples looking to strengthen their sex life?
Strengthen your relationships to yourselves individually.
What’s your relationship with cannabis and CBD?
It is HOLY is what it is. I was relatively late to the Cannabis game considering that I’d dabbled in smoking my fair share of pot driving around in cars with my friends (still the MOST fun thing) when I was in High School. But as an adult, for a long time I followed a lot of unconscious, programmed rules around what this plant is and represents. Summer of 2019, while I was visiting my hometown during my road-pirate days, I went through a bout of Adrenal Fatigue that was truly insanity inducing. I was tired in a way that brought me to tears. Out of desperation, I borrowed a vape pen from my brother and started to get sleep that actually felt like rest.
How has cannabis use helped you in your career?
This is a f&*king amazing question. Can I say fuck here (little late for that)? It has helped me access some of the most deeply hidden soul contracts I’ve written about my right, capacity and ability to take up space in the world with who I am. Through my Cannabis use I take very intentional, very willing journeys into myself in search of my stuck places. She helps me access the parts of myself that I’ve wrapped in fear and lets me look at them with love. In a word – integration. She helps me integrate my whole Self.
Where does the nickname “Sauce” come from?
Ha! It’s been with me for almost 15 years. My last name is Osofsky (Oh-soff-ski) and most people don’t even try pronouncing it, so I get “Oh-Sauce-Ski” a lot. Skipping the F. A friend in High School started calling me Sauceski and then that eventually just became Sauce. Cut to a handful of years after High School and I started working for lululemon. There were other Stef/Steph’s working with us, so this guy asked if I had a nickname. When I said “In High School, everyone called me Sauce.” he didn’t pause before declaring that we were bringing it back and it stuck hard. Here we are – still Saucey.
You are currently living life on the road, what inspired you to do this?
Loaded questions, guys! Love this. In short – the awareness that I’d never made the choice to live in Florida. My parents brought us here when I was five from New York and I’d lived in South Florida ever since. When that lightbulb turned on- that it was never a choice I consciously made myself – I wondered what I’d do if I were choosing fully on my own. And the answer was that I’d go see what I’d find under my tires with no plan. I wanted to find myself in the moments where shit got real and there was nowhere familiar to go. I wanted to break through a lot of the conditioning and patterning that comes from the safety of a place you know. I wanted to be really uncomfortable – to keep it 100% with ya.
Favorite thing about being on the road?
The people I met. Maybe that’s an obvious answer but they were the whole reason for doing it. I knew I’d meet strangers and write unbelievable stories. That was literally all I knew when I left on November first. That I’d meet people and tell stories. I was right. They are all still bestowing gifts on my life from wherever they/we are. The landscapes are a very close second.
Rapid fire music questions
We asked you to create a playlist that is refreshing, uplifting, and energizing – a mix that encourages renewal. What inspired some of the tracks you chose?
Road pirate life! Being on the road really impacted my relationship to music, while it shifted my relationship to a lot of things. Including climate, environment, and weather. I was immersed in actual changing seasons for the first time in my life. So when you guys asked for something meeting that description, it reminded me of the renewal of Spring that I saw, smelled, heard, and felt in my body, unfolding with my windows down and a Spotify playlist on as the backdrop to the profound shifts taking place inside me.
Favorite song from the mix?
This is so hard. But today, right this second, I’d pick So It Goes by Ghost Lion, with Born and Raised by John Mayer close behind. Although I will stand by my belief that I think the first 30 seconds of Voodoo Child (Slight Return) is one of the most important pieces of music of all time.
Your go-to song to start your day to:
I’m super, super vibing to T Swifts new album! I’d really unfairly projected onto her before seeing her recent Netflix doc. So “You Need To Calm Down”, “Only The Young”, “ME!” and “It’s Nice To Have a Friend” are jammmmms right now. It changes constantly, though.
General rapid fire questions
Favorite way to consume cannabis or CBD:
Hand-rolled joint all day long. And for a real truth bomb – I use an Indica THC tincture (generally designed for oral use) vaginally (inserted with a syringe) and as far as sleep goes, it gives me the deepest rest. We don’t need to metabolize through digestion with vaginal absorption, so all the blood vessels in the walls of the vagina absorb its potency in a more potent and effective way for me. But definite abide by the whole “Sauce is not a medical doctor” thing here, fam.
Favorite self-pleasure accessory:
My own body.
Your favorite city you visited in 2019:
Santa Fe
Must-have skincare product:
A blend of oils I make myself with organic Olive Oil, Cypress or White Fir oil, Patchouli, and Arborvitae oil. I have a theory that the products we use only work if we love using them. If we believe in their medicine and if they feel good for us to use and make us feel good. So I blend this oil with smells that remind me of Olive Orchards and a nearby fire burning in a forest. And the Sun.
Make sure to follow Rosebud CBD on Spotify for access to all of our past & future playlists. See ya next month for another incredible playlist collaboration!
And if you’re wanting to read more from us, check out some of these past blogs- Rosebud x FallForVee: All You Need is Love, Treat Yourself to a Better Orgasm; Using CBD as Lube, Let’s Get It On: CBD and Sex.